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[28 Jan 2008|07:54pm] |
For practical reasons, I'm committing LiveJournal treason.
For my travels, photos, and everything else you can now go to
neilcontractor.blogspot.com
I might still update this, but probably not. When I come back, I'll make a website too. Lovecalculator has been fun though
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[01 Jan 2008|02:08am] |
im pretty sure i made out with every girl in EXISTENCE.
PS - I STOLE MYY ROOMATE'S BROWNIES AND COOKIES...
IS THAT SO BAD?
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[27 Nov 2007|11:58pm] |
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I constantly go through cycles everyday. I'll pump myself up about one thing, and then psych myself out like 2 hours later about that same thing or something else thats just as important. This semester is my worst semester yet. I'm all over the place, the impeding doom that is finals is diminishing all my motivation, and I'm just tired. There really is no time to complain, but my brain hurts from trying to figure out when I can do everything. Portfolios, papers, payments for India, finalizing all my traveling information--it's too much. I sometimes wish I had a personal assistant to get me things, or just so i can beat them up or vent to them. If only I had a boyfriend.
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[14 Nov 2007|12:31am] |
So I really hate Wednesdays so i'm trying to delay it from starting. what if i never went to sleep...maybe it wouldn't have to start. Once Wednesday is done, my week is alot nicer to me. Plus, Project Runway is atleast something to look foward to now.
Anyways, I've been trying to juggle lots of things at once. Work, school work, going to india, papers, love interests. Somehow all of that came together today and I was relieved. I didn't have work for my Large Format photography class, but it ended up not even being a deal. My new print for my Junior Portfolio class looks decent, and I thought it would come out terrible. All my study abroad papers and confirmation materials are in, so now the hard part comes about getting a flight, sublet person, and the loan to pay for it. yikes.
Not coming home for Thanksgiving (not a real holiday for me anyways). Florida is seeming less and less like home, more and more like this distant place that maybe someday i'll get to. I do want to come for Christmas Break, but I do have to be back in Boston by the 1st, so it might be short lived.
I sometimes feel weird/ashamed since I live with a 31 year old 8th science teacher who is pretty real, and likes to clean and have a house to live in. Especially when i just dont care THAT much if my bowl, pots, or shit on the toilet seat isn't cleaned immediately. Just kidding. But she's really nice, and today I came home to find her grading papers that her 8th graders wrote on a scientist. They were hilariously awful: so many typos, grammatical errors, and blatant plageurism. It made me think if I could actualy write a paper back then. One guy was talking about how Charles Darwin was making a movie when he died...lol
I've been spending alot of time with myself lately. It's nice, I get to relax and since no one calls me, I can actually just do nothing. What a pleasure of the well-off. I think about that alot when I'm doing nothing, and how I get to just do nothing for the sake of doing nothing. What a luxury. I really kind of need that sometimes, last wednesday after class I could just feel my body shutting down because I needed a break of nothing. Or maybe it was just me gettting sick because I was sick this weekend as well, but either way it's nice that i can have time to sit and clear my mind, or just watch tv.
I should get to bed anyways, have to get up early. I'm also addicted to coffee now. I just know that I have to get through this semester, and I'm goign to have the best 7 or 8 months ever. It's kind of distracting me, and I just can't wait.
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| Maine and life |
[05 Aug 2007|07:43pm] |
Things i've learned while I was in Maine:
-Maine is by far the strangest state i've been in
-Maine also has the strangest people i've ever seen
-I really truly enjoy photography and I'm so excited for school to start up
-I've yet to take a perfect picture, and may take a really long to make one
-I actually really enjoy using a rangefinder, and wish I could buy a Leica M8
-The only true way to make original pictures that no one has seen is to make your subject matter specifically about the day and age you live in
-I'm going to take my street photography and make it specifically about our culture (not youth, maybe more technological)
-I think I need to get out and start shooting before I decide what kind of statement i want to say about our culture...but maine really helped me expand my vocabulary when I'm making my images with color, motion, etc.
-I really want a boyfriend, UGH
( Here are some pictures I took in Maine. )
Anyways. I'm off to visit my mom tomorrow in Arizona. I always enjoy seeing her and my sister now a days.
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[27 Jul 2007|05:44pm] |
I dreamt last night that I met this other indian guy whose name was neil contractor. it was very peculiar since i didn't question it, and just hung out with him and his sister and we had fun.
I've had pretty much 0 motivation this whole summer to do any work. I just spent the whole year going around boston and taking pictures on my free time, and now that i have all the free time in the world, i just want to do nothing before i jump back into everything. i feel like it maybe be detrimental to my progress, but i think i deserve an extended period of time of doing nothing. haha and im lazy
But for now, all im doing is SWEATING 24/7 and its getting really old. also, since its so hot, i have to leave my windows wide open so i can get what little breeze there is, and every morning my brain hurts because i get woken up every 15 minutes by the sound of the passing T trolley outside. Thats also getting really old. But thankfully, i found a huge room in a huge house (2 living rooms and bathrooms!) and its away from all the noise and its by all my friends. I'm genuinely excited for next year.
Boys? (An unanswerable question apparently..)
Also, when i go visit my mom in august i'm going skydiving!
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[29 May 2007|04:57pm] |
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I won the portfolio competition again this year. What a mind fuck this time!
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| Life Updates |
[28 May 2007|12:28pm] |
The birthday went well. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy bday. I got some good but kind of overpriced Indian food, and Mike got me a strawberry cake. Pretty much this weekend (this whole summer?) has been getting drunk or high or having BBQs. Probably another bbq today.
I'm still counting down the days until my roomates move out. 3 and counting. They've begun their packing, and I'm going to make them help me clean this place pretty good. All disgusting remains of theirs will be thrown out - no more bottles, pictures, posters, silverware. I just recently got a fan to put in my window, and living in this apartment, thats the one thing I'm excited about the most. The good thing is is that both of them suck, so they couldn't get anyone to sublet their rooms. So for maybe about a week or so, I'll have this whole apartment to myself. I cannot wait to have a personal life again.
Sometimes I get really excited when I think about the future. But it's mostly because I'm excited about all the different types of pictures I'm going to take. Once bradley moves out he agreed to help me make a website. I really should get on that. I've been pretty excited to start some video work next year. I like thinking about all the mini-documentary films I could do while I'm traveling.
My Mexico trip for next spring has been cancelled again. It's been shortened to a week long trip in January, which I will probably go to. I just had my heart set on going abroad, so I'm going to see what my options are and where I can go. I really want to go to India (it seems everyone wishes to go back to their roots).
My life isn't too terribly interesting to write about, but I'm still having fun. Still looking for a bf, but not counting on that. Had a few flops in recent weeks, but thats the trend. Hope everyone is doing well.
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[01 May 2007|05:38pm] |
So things are happening. Finals are finally this week, and those are going great. I'm pretty happy with my portfolio and I included some images at the end. I want my work to keep changing so it'll be interesting to see where I go with my street photography. I've been thinking lately i want to incorporate my images into real-life installations throughout the city. Not too sure on specifics or legality mostly.
So I've been helping this photographer, Costa Manos, who is actually a Magnum photographer and one of the best color photographers ever help him around his house and stuff. Lately i've been going through all his old prints and helping him put together a show he has in New York, which includes sorting, labeling, framing, etc. It's kind of surreal to be actually holding a master's prints that are easily thousands of dollars in my hands. It's completely amazing. The funny part is that he's 72 and gay and lives with his partner and they're both old and really funny. ALSO he critiqued my work while i was there which was obviously awesome just to get another professionals opinion on it. But by far the best part is that hes paying me for all of it, so a Magnum photographer just paid me to critique my work. Surreal.
Egypt, Boca, Arizona this summer. Also Boston for everyone who wants to visit in the meantime. I can't wait.
( ANYWAYS, here's my portfolio.. )
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[24 Apr 2007|09:26pm] |
so i guess earlobe hickeys dont count as much as i thought
or maybe i just have bad luck
but once again its back to waiting around. (but for what anymore?)
maybe these 2 weeks until summer really will have something (someone?) special in the end
lets hope so
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[23 Apr 2007|01:51am] |
earlobe hickeys are by far the best hickeys to get...
except when your friends look at you funny and tell you the btotm of your ear is all purple
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[16 Apr 2007|01:44pm] |
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fuck im always cold up here. floriddaaa
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| life update |
[01 Apr 2007|05:34pm] |
So i've finally met someone. I guess you could say we're dating, but not in a relationship. I dont think he knows if he wants a relationship yet. I'm not sure either. I cant decide if i'm interested still because i haven't had anyone in 4 years want to be with me like he does and i like that, or if im genuinely interested. i cant tell yet.
my dreams have been fucked up for a while too. i keep having to watch my friends die/kill my friends. its uncomforting.
i haven't really taken a picture i LOVE since chinese new year. thats kinda scary to me, and its been haunting my subconscious lately.
i got way too drunk friday night.
i got 4 pictures into my schools taking in puclication this year, and i might even have a 2 page spread in it! exciting!!
summer is coming way too fast. it seems like everything is yet to come, im always thinking about the future. but then again everything is taking too long to get here.
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[19 Mar 2007|01:20am] |
i'm really way too lazy to seriously try and find a boyfriend outside of like myspace. and the scary part is is that i dont really know where i'd start if i wanted to try and be more proactive. i'm definitely not the club type, nor have i even really met any normal, gay couples recently anyways. i feel like i have to really be very gay to be in some kind of relationship. i cant be one of those really gay couples. looking trrough friends wouldn't really help me too much, because we all only know each other and no one is gay.
also, someone recently called me a yetti. it sucked. its like what do i even have self confidence for anymore anyways. i haven't met anyone in forever, and after a while i've just start to begun to see myself getting fatter and uglier, although i dont think i am.
i really need help finding a bf
what happened to my really productive start to this semester? anyone else been on a slump lately?
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| life update |
[27 Feb 2007|11:51pm] |
New picture from a collection from Chinatown. It's the only one I really liked/would use so i'm only posting that one. I've also begun to start recording some audio clips to go along with my still images, but i'm too lazy to try and figure out how to post those as well.
I've realized that my best pictures are the most complicated images. I really love layers, foreground background relationships and clashing colors. i just haven't figured out that human connection within all my pictures.
I honestly have been getting so scared when I start to think about my future. Obviously i've realized that i'm just not going to get a job in photography once i leave school, no one ever does. it's going to take me years of photographing and sending into galleries and papers and contests to make a working resume with a great portfolio. i'm just scared of all those inbetween years. what kind of job am i going to get? once i get my job and leave school, when am i ever going to photograph? whats going to be my motivation? I started thinking about how strange it is that my main drive for my picture taking is grades, and its really frightening to think about WHY am i going to continue to take pictures once i wont have grades or classes. my love is all i have to go on.
i'm really scared of just not caring to take pictures anymore once i have to get a real job and have some other responsibilities that are non-photography related. does thinking that automatically make it possible for me to lose my passion? i hope not, i dont think so.
still looking for mr right...
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| fuck |
[25 Jan 2007|04:46pm] |
its going to be so cold. i'm pretty much going to lose my mind.
anyways, so school started. on monday and wednesday i have to wake up at 7, and then on tuesday and thursday at 8. that'll take some getting used to. basically im really excited for this semester and i think i'm going to make some great work.
i never think that my resolution of finding someone for valentine's day each year is incredibly hard to do, but i cant ever seem to find anyone. that guy from england fell through and i never actually met him so whatever. i'm still looking though.
i realized i don't really have friends for me up here. we're all this huge crazy group of friends that love and hate each other and have so much fun, which is awesome. but i dont have that ONE friend thats yours, you know? sometimes i want to just hang out with one person around here for a while, but i dont really have any friends like that.
oh and ps, my roomate from last year that dropped out is in my seminar class that i TA, lol.
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[19 Jan 2007|02:43am] |
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fuck. the apartment building two directly connected down from me caught on fire. me and bradley were sitting in the living room and we heard yelling and smashing and look out the back as people with flashlights were breaking down windows in the pitch black apartments. we were like wtf are there people robbing them? (lol) but then realized the whole building was smoking. we go outside and like 7 fire trucks appear and start working on the building. its so loud and so early. whatever, those people have it so much worse, their apartment is fucked.
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[07 Jan 2007|03:03am] |
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I love that the day I get back to Boston I get a random myspace message from this guy named Rupert who is a 22 year old transfer student from the university of cambridge in england going to harvard asking me if I'd like to go get a drink with him soon. I love that this could ever happen. I'm totally going to do it.
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